Open Post to Peer Reviewers (Fine Cut Actually)

This is actually my fine cut because my life is a mess right now but just go with it

Key information: Not much, only that if the video quality isn't as high as it could be there was literally nothing I could do, I had my laptop camera and iMovie to work with. But I think it's not terrible quality, I mean you can pretty clearly see what I'm doing so it should be fine

Issues or weaknesses: None really, seeing as this is my fine cut. I'm a little worried content wise, but honestly I'm always worried. I'm not worried for any particular reason other than I really want to do well.

Strengths: I think the editing is pretty good! I went back and reenacted moments from the projects as they pertained to my time management, learning new technology, and my writing process and edited them in a concise yet detailed (ha) manner. I think that part is pretty money.


Without further ado, Fine Cut

Peer Review of James Fusaro

LAST PEER REVIEW EVER AHHHHHH *smashes flower pot with a broomstick*

• James Fusaro- English 109H Project 4 Draft
• I'm making a recommendation about form!
• I think I helped because while he uses form well, there are lots more things he could do with it so I'm suggesting that instead of making it purely him talking at a screen, he could keep the audio from that and recreate visuals of his struggles and successes which is what I'm doing. Also, he could have a script so the tone isn't so casual. Casual is good, but it's more of a storytelling at this point. 
• I think my suggestion from student's guide comes from evidence- it's more unconventional but personal experience is totally evidence, which I made use of in my last project and this one. He should show himself walking through these steps and learning, failing, and then succeeding. It would add a lot. 
• Like James said, I think he covered the content really well. If I can do that with his content success and my visual ideas, I'll be doing great. 

Editorial Report 15b

More things changed, let's talk about them!

1. Content only changed a little, there were some places that I didn't like my word choice so I edited that just a tad. Nothing special.

2. Form did a complete 180 because I actually recorded this yay! I sat down, put on some clothing that doesn't look like I'm about to get on an airplane and did my talking portion of the video. Of course this was the easy part, but at least I got it out of the way...24 hours before the due date. I can do this.

And once again, I'd like to apologize if the video quality isn't super sharp, I only have my laptop (and my phone, which I tried- it's worse) so I'm trying to edit it but further than that I can't do anything about it.

Original Content

NEW Content!

Editorial Report 15a

Things changed, let's talk about it!

1. Content only changed a little, there were some places that I didn't like my word choice so I edited that just a tad. Nothing special.

2. Form did a complete 180 because I actually recorded this yay! I sat down, put on some clothing that doesn't look like I'm about to get on an airplane and did my talking portion of the video. Of course this was the easy part, but at least I got it out of the way...24 hours before the due date. I can do this.

Also, I'd like to apologize if the video quality isn't super sharp, I only have my laptop (and my phone, which I tried- it's worse) so I'm trying to edit it but further than that I can't do anything about it.

Original Content


NEW Content!

Also, it says the video is still being processed because I literally just now uploaded it. So hopefully I don't get any peer reviews in like the next 30 seconds

Peer Review 14

I'm going to do my second to last peer review ever! Yay!

• Content Adaptation- Alexis Morrison 
• I'm making a recommendation about form!
• I think I helped because other than the obvious "film it" (which I can say to myself too so like no hypocrites here) I told her I liked how she incorporated other images and videos that she wanted to add and focused on each project, and just recommended that it be filmed to get a better visual for the audience.
• My recommendation comes, sort of, from the organization part of student's guide, but honestly not much in student's guide fit the changes that should be made to this. I recommended that it be more detailed and filmed so the visuals can be more effective, but other than that the script looks good. 
• I liked how she focused on each project individually! I'm planning on doing that but more so to bring out specific examples of how I succeeded/failed so I liked to see that in another project. 

Production Report B

So first of all, I'm sorry this isn't a video yet. There were extenuating circumstances this weekend so right now it's just script. But I know what the video is going to look like, so that helps me answer these questions.


1. The form for this section is basic too. I'll just be looking at the camera talking so I can anchor the reiteration of everything that I focused on in the video without having any other distracting things going on. Distracting things will be in the supporting middle sections.

2. Again, production was iffy because it was only halfway produced. But that's coming very soon I promise. Again, my look wasn't ready because of the schedule of Saturday. Hopefully tomorrow will do me better and I can get this produced ASAP.

Outline Item: Conclusion


Script for my conclusion!

Production Report

So first of all, I'm sorry this isn't a video yet. There were extenuating circumstances this weekend so right now it's just script. But I know what the video is going to look like, so that helps me answer these questions.

1. So this form is basic. This part of the video is just going to be myself talking because I want the viewer to really focus on what I'm saying. It won't be this way for the whole video but this is the intro/conclusion format.

2. Production went sort of badly because I didn't produce it all the way, because of what was going on this weekend I couldn't have my consistent look ready to be in this video so I'll have to film it either tomorrow or during next deadline. I'll try to do it tomorrow so you guys can actually see the content. However you're not missing much, imagine this text but just me saying it to a camera- not much artistic license here yet.

Outline Item: Introduction

Without further ado, the script for my introduction.

Production Schedule

I have most certainly screwed myself. Time to rise above- yay production schedule!

Film and write intro/conclusion

• Place: My dorm 
• Date: Tomorrow and Sunday
• Resources: My computer and one consistent outfit
• Date/ Changes made: Standby for that

Write script/blocking for middle (supporting) sections

• My dorm
• Monday and Tuesday
• My computer and my feeble mind
• Standby for date and changes

Record Audio for middle sections

• My dorm
• Wednesday, maybe dead day
• My phone and my computer
• Standby for date and changes

Film blocking for middle sections

• My dorm
• Dead day (thursday)
• My phone, my computer, maybe my roommate/neighbor
• Standby for date and changes

Do the soul sucking editing

• My dorm, which I never leave any more 
• Friday, Saturday and probably Sunday too because editing takes forever
• My computer and my perseverance 
• Standby for date and changes

Content Outline

So I kinda screwed myself in that I have to do a video essay. But that's how I live life- I screw myself and then rise above. So here's hoping that I can take the task of making an edited video during the last two weeks of the semester fun. I believe in myself a little.

Here goes, content outline. Nothing etched in stone.

• Opening section: Tell audience what I'm gonna show them, this part will just be video of me talking.
• 3 main body sections:
• Time management and how I adapted to my schedule (show stressful Sundays)
• Main Idea: Show myself slowly learning how to not procrastinate, maybe do short clips from say a typical week during project 1 and what I did every day and screwing it up until  I had to by hyper productive on Sunday, and then slowly getting better at it. 
• Evidence: For example "when I was doing the project 1, this happened, and by project 3 I had learned to do this" 
• What Evidence Proves: My writing process evolved over time!
• What that's important: That's pretty much the goal of this class, so I made good use of it. 
• learning different genres/new technology
• Main idea: learning to do a podcast was confusing af and I probably did it wrong
• Evidence: Used voice memo's and emailed them to myself because I'm 90 and don't know what's going on 
• What evidence proves: Even though I'm 90 I still can put together a decent project because I got an 85
• Why that's important: It shows that even if you don't really know what's going on that's okay because sometimes weird methods work out perfectly. 
• Expanding my writing process instead of just jumping into a first draft (show my deteriorating physical and mental state as blog posts go by)
• Main idea: showing my research/confusion at extent of research
• Evidence: STAKEHOLDERS??? Focus on process for project 1
• What evidence proves: at first I was confused but now I can edit and adapt my pre-production process which I really didn't have before, it was immediate rough draft go time
• Why that's important: Now I have a way better writing process and a better end product as a result!
• Conclusion: Just me talking. I'll say how the struggles helped my writing process, how I've been shaped as a writer, etc. 
• Now I can extrapolate these skills to other classes and life situations and such

Revised Post to Peer Reviewers

I finally finished. I think I have a stomach ulcer, but I finished.

So it looks like the questions on this open post are sort of tailored for last week, so I'll try and adapt them.

• Information: I'm nervous. I tried really hard to make this relatable and effective, but there is still a part of me that thinks it just sounds like a bunch of inane ramblings. I know it doesn't, but like, the fear is there. 
• Weaknesses: I just really hope it doesn't come off as aggressive. I usually get pretty aggressive and forceful when I argue, so I adapted my paper to be more relatable and definitely less sarcastic. I do want people to hear me out, after all. 
• Strengths: My conclusion is money af. I finally managed to write a paper where the conclusion doesn't begin with "In conclusion". Kinda sneaks up on you. I like that. 

I really worked hard on this, I just hope it's as good as I think it is. Writing 10 pages about Donald Trump sort of sucks out the soul. Wish me luck... and with that, I press submit. 

Fine Cut

Peer Review for Malik Bullock

One last peer review, I can do it... I'm fine I swear.

• Malik Bullock- Project 3
• I made a research and form suggestion for Malik, as I think emphasizing the counter argument earlier in the script would be beneficial. I also think he should look deeper into the number's he's given (for example tell us how much revenue these companies would lose).
• I think I helped because while reading the script, I could feel myself being standoffish about it right from the beginning, which is why I think the counterargument should be emphasized in the beginning (and I made almost the exact same change to my paper, fun fact). I was also weary of him mentioning how much it would cost companies to raise the minimum wage because- other fun fact- people who want the minimum wage raised (which are probably the people reading this paper) don't care about how much a billionaire CEO is going to lose. I personally think it would be more effective if Malik said that these companies are losing money and this is bad for everyone because...
• I incorporated the organization portion of student's guide because, like I said earlier, the counter argument is way more effective earlier on. Plus I changed that about my paper too, so you know I actually think it works. 
• There are a lot of things I admired about this. First, you can tell where he stands right away. That's great. Second, I like his vision for what he's going to have on screen while he's talking. I think if this turns out that way it's going to be really effective. 

Peer Review for Hannah Gardner

Yay peer review! Let's do the thing.

• The Inseparability of Nature and Nurture- Hannah Gardner
• I'm making a recommendation about form- Hannah seemed worried that use of "I" and "you" was not appropriate for a standard college essay but since it's an argument I think that it is just fine. 
• I think I helped because I pointed out that part of the argument is that you have to relate to the person reading it, and it's pretty much impossible to do that without using "I" or "you". Standard college essays should be formal, but this isn't your typical research report. Since you're actively taking a side, I think it's just fine to keep a casual tone as long as it stays somewhat aloft, so to speak. 
• I included some suggestions from the "conclusion" subset of Student's Guide. I suggested that it be more argumentative than leaving non-leaning information for the reader. I think Hannah should conclude with her view and why that view is the best way to take on the issue.
• I really liked Hannah's word choice. In the middle sections when she talks about how genes can't be separated from environment, she does so very eloquently in a way that I don't think I could have. 

Reflection on Revision

Now I'm going to sit quietly and think about what I've done.

1. Things that went right: So I had a good opportunity on Thursday where I talked to Sean and got specific suggestions for things I could correct which was good, I knew what I needed to do exactly and in most of the cases of corrections I made, they were easy tasks.

2. Some challenges were that to do this I had to appeal to voters who might be on the fence about voting for Trump to come off less aggressive, and all I heard when this was said is appeal to Trump supporters which made me cough up blood a little bit but I sucked it up. I think what I came up with is honest while still allows potential Trump supporters to see what I'm saying.

3. Since there is no next week for this project I think it's going to go GREAT because I'll be done with this paper! Yay!

4. I'm a little nervous in all honesty. Aggression is kindof my nature when it comes to political issues so it's a little hard to stifle myself, but I need that A so yeah. I'm also just worried about my personal story but Sean seemed to think I should include and adapt it. I just hope on a serious note that it all comes together to make the point I'm looking for and doesn't just read as aimless ramblings- I want this paper to be effective and to make people think.

Editorial Report 13b

More things changed. Let's look at them!

1. So content changed in that there is now less of it in the end. I didn't add much more of a conclusion because I felt like the way it concluded itself was pretty money in the first place. I hope I'm right about that.

2. Form changed because I really just moved some things around- I split the last paragraph in half and made half of it my introduction and adapted the last half to be the conclusion. Since the conclusion didn't really exist in the first place, I'll just share the whole last paragraph and then show you how it became my conclusion, since in the last post I just showed you the how the first part became my introduction.

Original Last Paragraph


Last Paragraph turned conclusion

Editorial Report 13a

Here I'm going to talk about some changes that I made again! Huzzah.

1. So content totally changed because I added a section that wasn't there before. Now I have my introduction, yay! It's obviously better because papers need introductions, duh.

2. Form changed because not only do I now have an introduction, but I broke my last paragraph in half and made part of it my introduction. That way you understand right off the bat why I'm disgusted by Trump and the reader is able to draw parallels from the sociopath that I knew and Trump.


Since this paragraph didn't exist before, I don't have an earlier cut to show you. But here's my introduction, yay!

TADAA

Peer Review of Jason Boley

Here I'm going to peer review Jason. Here we go.

• Jason Boley- Culture vs. Progress. 
• I made a content suggestion- right now, his paper reads as a research report on all sides of this argument. I suggested that he add more of his opinion throughout, because now it only appears in the very end. 
• I think I helped because adding your own voice is an integral part of this project, it's got to be very opinionated and that's important to know. 
• Student's Guide- my suggestion relates to summary and analysis. I think the paper is too much summary at this point, it needs to be less of a research report and more of an argument.
• I really liked how he included not just two sides of an argument but many sides- environmentalists, indigenous tribes, and freeway teams alike. 

Peer Review for Rhiannon Bauer

I know you're not supposed to peer review people twice but I have things to do this weekend and Rhiannon is the only person who has a draft up in my section. Get it girl.

• Rhiannon Bauer- The Big Fuss About The Bathroom
• I made a content suggestion- as Rhiannon says that the issue holds a personal significance for her, I suggested that she incorporate that in her paper as I did and Sean encouraged me to keep and even make more personal. 
• I think I helped because not everyone thinks to include their own experience because they don't consider doing it in a way that's tasteful, and it can be a really valuable addition of pathos. 
• Student's Guide- my suggestion relates to evidence. Her personal experience could be very powerful here as far as real life evidence goes. I used mine and I think if she's comfortable with it, hers could be a great addition. 
• I really liked the way she argued her point. I disagree with her but she did it in such a way that I could see where she was coming from and that the two sides could somehow find a happy middle, and if you know me at all you know that's not an easy thing to make me do.

Reflection on Global Revision

Here I'm going to talk about how I feel about editing. Spoiler alert I hate it.

1. Successes were that I already knew what I needed to do, so doing it was pretty easy (like adding proper citations) and I had some suggestions from Sean that were easy additions. Also, I think my length is pretty good so I'm not preoccupied with adding BS.

2. Challenges are that I still don't have an intro/conclusion, but I was comfortable calling this my rough cut because I have all the real meat of my paper and it's still like eight or nine pages. Also my tone still isn't all that it could be. Working on it.

3. Next week will go well because I know what I need to do. I'll get peer review and be able to put the finishing touches on my paper. I'm okay with not having an intro and conclusion to be peer reviewed because I'm pretty good at writing those anyway, they're not hard.

4. I'm feeling good. I'm a pretty argumentative person, so backing up an argument isn't new to me. Papers have been not super my forte in the past, but since this is an argument it's a little less like a literary analysis (which I'm terrible at) and a little more like yelling that I'm accustomed to.

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

Here I'm going to talk about my essay and why it's still basically a pile of crap but nonetheless a pile of crap that's getting there.

• Key info: So I realized I was kinda just using John Oliver's show as it's own paragraph and even though I was citing it I didn't really like that, so I decided to change it and reiterate how everything Oliver said relates to Trumps sociopathy. I think that's better. Also, I kept the part about the sociopath that I knew and I made it more detailed and personal to show the effects and my hatred for Trump. Normally I wouldn't do this but Sean said it would be good if I did so I did. 
• Weaknesses: Okay I know it doesn't have an intro/conclusion. Just focus on the content for now. Also I know the tone is a little informal. Like I said, it's still basically a pile of crap. 
• Strengths: Like I also said, it's a pile of crap that's getting there so I think my content is cool. Although the "my life" part is a little more personal now (Sean told me to so ollyollyoxenfree) I think it's pretty fire. 

Okay. Be gentle, I am but a sensitive butterfly. 

Rough Cut

Editorial Report B

Some more things changed. Shocking! Let's learn more.

1. The changes I made to content are as follows

• Double checked quotes from video sources to make sure I got them right, edited accordingly
• Added proper in text citations 
• More detail in the third section 

2. Form didn't change much as a result, it just became a little longer. I think this paragraph is in pretty good shape so I didn't change much. 

First Draft 

Second Draft

Editorial Report A

Here I'll be telling you how some things changed. Enthralling.

1. So I did a few things to this content. At the suggestion of Mr. Bottai, I:

1. Gave my sociopath a pseudonym and some context
2. Gave a few more details as to how that personality type manifests itself in the lives of other people, in this case those other people being me
3. Tried to really convey that this is why I hate Trump so much (well, the biggest reason anyway) and added some dramatic language towards the end there. 
4. Oh, and I added the proper citations. Purdue OWL said that for internet sources with no page numbers all I needed was the last name of the author, so that's all I put. 

2. Form changed a lot. Instead of making a third body paragraph about an endless list of Trump insults that really could end up going nowhere and didn't have as much purpose as my other ones, I took the pathos part from the second body paragraph (because it was already like seven pages) and made it it's own supporting paragraph. This allowed me to make the content changes that I wanted to and not worry that it was getting too long.

Here are the hyperlinks. It's not one page or less, sorry about it. The revised version is pretty money in my opinion.

First Draft

Second Draft

Peer Review for Rhiannon Bauer

Here I reviewed Rhiannon's blog post on all her sources about the new bill in North Carolina regarding transgendered bathrooms.

I selected the peer review activity making a research recommendation on her list of sources.

I think I helped because there was one section of her post that I was unclear on, and I think that if I was unclear on it then other people were too. By reading my recommendation to elaborate on some of her sources, she'll know that other people see what I see and be able to make her project more clear in general.

From Student's Guide, I looked at section 5: use of sources, to evaluate Rhiannon's sources and their authors and hosts. Thinking about that helped me decide what advice to offer as far as changes that should be made to the source list.

I really liked how she incorporated some more viral content (We just need to pee selfies) and lots of different multimedia in her sources. Mine were mostly print and video, which I think is fitting because my genre is essay but it's happening right now. I think we both have the time period in common which is good, it allows me to see where she's coming from in a sense. Overall I think she has a really solid start here.

Peer Review for Joshua Smith

Here I peer reviewed Joshua's blog post on all of his sources!

I gave him a suggestion on his research in the form of mentioning that not all of his sources had a super strong credibility/no skew, but also commenting that he has a great variety.

I think I helped because when you're coming up with a list of your own sources it's not always easy to see that you've included skew (because he did have a source from Fox News, but sometimes these are a helpful addition so I just mentioned it) but I think by showing him this and that there were a couple holes in credibility he can realize that he should either pick some more sources or clearly explain in his final product why they're relevant.

From Student's Guide, I looked at section 5: use of sources, to evaluate Joshua's sources and their authors and hosts. Thinking about that helped me decide what advice to offer as far as changes that should be made to the source list.

I really admired the amount of detail in his posts! I couldn't do all my sources in one post without wanting to blow my brains out, while some of his evaluations weren't as long as they could be. But he still did better than I did, so go Joshua.

Reflection on Production

Here I'm going to talk about the different ways in which I endlessly stressed out about this project.

1. Some of my successes were that I had so many sources and instances I could draw on, I feel like this paper writes itself, and I'm just doing the retrieval work. It's painfully easy to prove that Trump is a narcissistic sociopath.

2. Challenges are that there are some sections I'm not sure that I should include, such as talking about real life sociopaths. Also, Trump's sociopathy seems so obvious to me I wonder if I'm actually proving a point... I think so though. Peer review should help with that.

3. I think next week will go well, most of the work is done at this point even though my paper is only about half-written, because I just need conclusion/introduction/annotated bib and all that... the only content I really have left to produce is my last body paragraph and it's a short one. Also, should body paragraphs be five pages? Because that definitely happened. Double spaced though so like, it's fine. Right? Right.

4. I'm feeling solid enough. Normally I'm afraid that my paper is too short which really isn't the case this time, so that's cool. My thesis has kind developed itself which is also cool. Anxiously awaiting peer review.

Production Report B

Here I've taken my second body paragraph in which my goal was to show Trump's sociopathic tendencies and made in into a living breathing four-page paragraph. Yaaaayyyy.

1. I had a lot of quotes, citations, etc. But I like the way I used numbers and bullets to correspond things to other related things (makes sense when you read it I promise). Even though it's not a blog post or QRG, I think it makes the paper more readable.

2. The production went well if not long and meticulous. The one concern I have is sharing about my experiences with a sociopath- I did it to establish ethos and pathos, but I'm afraid it's coming off as sort of a sob story which is definitely not my intention. I just want to say that I can recognize this behavior and draw parallels from real life sociopaths to Trump. Is this unprofessional or effective? Thoughts on that would be helpful af.

My Outline Goal

• Paragraph 2: Building on that, the cute thing about people with Antisocial Personality Disorder is that they are never what people think they are. 
• List sociopathic tendencies
• List psychopathic tendencies
• List reasons I think he's a pathological liar
• List narcissistic tendencies
• Establish my credibility as someone whose deal with someone with this personality disorder and whose entire life was almost entirely demolished as a result so imagine what that same person with all the power could do to our country... but it's no big deal.

What it actually became 

I think I did a solid job organizing this, but it's long as hell so instead of copy pasting it, have a nice link to a google doc. 

The formatting is a tad different because I copy pasted it from a word doc, but the weird stuff at the very end is just notes that I left myself for revision. 

Production Report

Here I'll be showing you what I've been producing. Yay.

Content Idea

• Paragraph 1: He's not what people think and here's why:
• Not a great businessman 
• Thin skinned
• Does not have a solid view on ANYTHING
• Doesn't actually fund his own campaign 
• Generally debunk things people think about Donald Trump
• My source: My man John Oliver

What It actually Became:

The thing about mental illness in this kind of realm is that they lead someone to put off a very different persona than that of who they really are. Narcissist have an inflated sense of ego and self, (“If you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious”- Mayo Clinic) so naturally they brag about all of their accomplishments and keep their failures well under wraps. This sometimes, not always but definitely in Trump’s case leads to a habit of pathological lying- these illnesses and actions combined creates a whole new character, which demands to be maintained as to not reveal the aforementioned lying. This is exactly what Trump has done. He’s created the notion that he’s a terrific businessman, a thick-skinned tough guy, tells it like it is and funds his own campaign, which are all very untrue.

So let’s start with the “fact” that he’s a grand businessman who can’t be defeated. Have you ever heard of Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Magazine, Trump World Magazine, Trump Shuttle or gotrump.com (the website exclusively made for booking on Trump Shuttle)? No? Interesting. Because those are all businesses of Trump’s which failed, that he doesn’t want anyone to know about even though that information is easily accessible to almost anyone. Which is another interesting fact about narcissists- they do their best not to be caught in their lies but still don’t really care, because if they’re ever confronted about it they will just keep lying about it until they feel like they’re in the clear. 

Moving on, Trump is not “tough” or “thick skinned” in the slightest. One person, one single time made a comment about Trump’s fingers being to short, and to this day, Trump sends this man photos of his fingers circled with writing like “not so short.” And this is yet another textbook characteristic of a narcissist. Mayo Clinic says that “You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism… To feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make yourself appear superior” (Mayo Clinic) Is this not exactly what he’s doing by lashing out like this? I’ll discuss this more later and come back to his narcissistic and sociopathic tendencies.

Another reason people love Trump is that he’s an outsider and pays for his own campaign, which is not true. If you go to his campaign website, you’ll find not one but two “donate” buttons. Additionally, the numbers he claims he’s spent on his own campaign vary by million of dollars. Not only that, but he hasn’t actually spent his own money here. He can loan himself money for the campaign and until it’s over, he can pay himself back for those loans. I know this sounds the same as funding yourself but it is most definitely not. When all is said and done,Trump will end up having used a very small amount of his own money on his campaign. 

The last thing I’ll debunk about Trump is that he most definitely tells nothing like it is. He’s been pro-life and pro-choice, for and against admitting Syrian refugees, and he’s contradicted himself so many times that people have actually edited video of him to make a Trump v. Trump debate. Most recently, he said that Planned Parenthood provides affordable healthcare to women and abortions are a very small percentage of services that they provide (which is actually true!) and said that abortion laws in this country should not change. However, he later and more recently said that women who have abortions should be punished. I understand that keeping Planned Parenthood open and punishing those who seek abortion could go together, but they are extremely incompatible, especially when you factor in that he’s said abortion laws in this country shouldn’t change. Plainly stated, Trump has no idea what he’s talking about.  

Okay, so one paragraph turned into a bunch, but I'm trying to make this readable here. Also I wish I could just make an attachment like you can in an email, because you can't see the notes I made for myself about stuff I have to add. 

Audience Questions:

1. I used form to expand what I had here. I had a great source for the point that I wanted to make not to mention some to prove that these actions relate to a mental illness, so after this I just need to add in text citations after the quotes- but those were put in absolutely because it's a genre convention. So form definitely influenced my choices.

2. The production went really smoothly! I just wanted to get all my ideas out onto the page, and I'll come back and edit, add, and cite on my way back. 

Bonus Post- More sources!

I found some more sources I want to use so I'll put them here, seeing as I only had 8 in my last post. I'll just write something about each one really quick so you get the idea.


Myth of Trumps Empire

This source serves because it's got a list of all Trumps business failures that he doesn't want anyone to know about. It's credible because it's from the Washington post, a well known news source, and the author, Ana Swanson, is a regular reporter for the post. So I have no problem trusting this source.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder- Mayo Clinic

This is a description as offered from Mayo Clinic of all the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality disorder, including pathological lying and the inflated ego. I'm good with trusting this source because this page tells me that all about Mayo Clinic and that it is one of the better medical websites out there. It's also unbiased, because it's just a diagnostic tool.

A Literal List of Trump Insults

Hey, I used this for my word cloud earlier this semester! This is a list of people Trump has insulted on Twitter alone, and I'm using it because I want to make the point that he criticizes everyone and everything especially if he's criticized first. Again, I'm good with using this source because it's from the New York Times which is reputable, and every single of of the quotes links to the actual tweet- so these definitely all happened.

Reflection on Pre-Production

Wow. This was pretty stressful.

1. Really the only thing that went right was the fact that I have a TON of sources because everyone is talking about Trump
2. Challenges: I had NO IDEA how extensive that second blog post was, so I only did eight sources so that I didn't have a mental breakdown. But I have a bunch more. Also I was kinda forced to procrastinate (see below)
3. I still think next week will go well because I have lots of detail and sources and pre-production work done so this should really almost write itself.
4. My eyes are bugging out of my skull because I was forced into procrastination until today (do you have any idea how time-consuming the weekend of a spring philanthropy is? Because I sure didn't) but I'm okay right now. Barely. It's fine.

Production Schedule

Okay let's break down my content outline and get this baby done.

Introductory Paragraph:

• Where: My dorm, maybe the library depending on if I want Starbucks or not. 
• When: Monday, since I don't have chapter, some time around 4. 
• Resources: My sources plus others I may gather along the way but the internet will provide me with all of these things so we're good to go. 
• Date completed: Stand by
• Changes made: Stand by

First Supporting Paragraph

• My dorm, maybe a study room depending on how badly my neighbors want my attention EVEN THOUGH I KEEP TELLING THEM I HAVE WORK TO DO it's fine.
• Tuesday, possibly Thursday depending on how my day plays out. Probably Thursday, because I'll have math homework due on Wednesday. Most likely 4 ish.
• Resources: Same as above
• Date completed: stand by
• Changes: Stand by

Next Body Paragraph

• My dorm for sure
• Who am I kidding probably not until Friday sometime around midday
• Resources: same as above
• Date completed: stand by
• Changes: Stand by

Last Body Paragraph

• My dorm or the library depending on if my big texts me and wants to go there 
• Hopefully Friday but honestly probably Saturday
• Resources: same as above 
• Date completed: Stand by
• Changes: Stand by

Concluding Paragraph

• Definitely my dorm
• Hopefully Saturday but probably Sunday
• Resouces: Same as above 
• Date completed: stand by
• Changes: Stand by

Phew. 

Content Outline

Here I'm going to make an attempt at an outline that includes everything I want to do. Totally subject to change so stand by.

• Opening Section (Introduction)
• Donald Trump is a narcissist, liar, sociopath, etc. (thesis to be improved/elaborated upon) and here's why (that part will be my paper so... yeah. You get it.
• Could try to grab attention by saying something about the demise of this country or start with a ridiculous Trump quote and contradicting that with his polling numbers
• Paragraph 1: He's not what people think and here's why:
• Not a great businessman 
• Thin skinned
• Does not have a solid view on ANYTHING
• Doesn't actually fund his own campaign 
• Generally debunk things people think about Donald Trump
• My source: My man John Oliver
• Paragraph 2: Building on that, the cute thing about people with Antisocial Personality Disorder is that they are never what people think they are. 
• List sociopathic tendencies
• List psychopathic tendencies
• List reasons I think he's a pathological liar
• List narcissistic tendencies
• Establish my credibility as someone whose deal with someone with this personality disorder and whose entire life was almost entirely demolished as a result so imagine what that same person with all the power could do to our country... but it's no big deal.
• Maybe mention that Milania/Melania/Melanoma Trump said that he's a different person with her but that's literally a textbook quote from people in abusive relationships and that people with this disorder are notorious abusers... sources to come on that but it's a thing I swear.
• My sources: These guys, these guys and this girl
• Paragraph 3: Let's talk about insults, baby
• List people he's insulted and WHY
• Look at how highly he values those on his side
• Let's just think about what would happen if these people turned on him
• Interesting because that's definitely happened before let's find some sources on that
• Analyze how quickly he changes sides and blame (anderson cooper town hall meeting)
• My source: This incredibly extensive list
• Conclusion (I will probably develop some more supporting paragraphs because I have so many feelings about Trump) 
• Re-state some of the introduction
• Sum up who he is and why we still want to vote for him.

I really wanted to include some more white space here but it would have messed up my bullets. 

Research Report

Here I'll be doing an analysis of ten sources for my paper. Weeee.

Also, I know since I'm doing a paper that my sources should be primarily text based, but a lot of them are videos because this is a thing that's going on right now right now. Sorry bout it.

Open letter to Trump voters, as written by his top strategist (who just quit).

• Formal Title: An Open Letter to Trump Voters from His Top Strategist-Turned-Defector
• Author: Stephanie Cegielsk
• Website: Occupy Democrats
• Fact one: This girl worked for Donald Trump. She knows what she's talking about because she's been around him in person which is more than most voters can say.
• Fact two: She's got a ton of political experience (or she wouldn't have been recruited). 
• Audience: This thing is definitely directed at Trump supporters.
• Citation one: The title
• Citation two: "My support for Trump began probably like yours did. Similar to so many other Americans, I was tired of the rhetoric in Washington." (shows she's talking to people who support Trump)
• The source is trying to make people realize that Trump is not what they think he is.
• "No matter how many times he repeats it, Trump would not be the “best” at being a president, being in shape, fighting terrorism, selling steaks, and whatever other “best” claim he has made in the last 15 minutes."
• "I consider myself a part of the silent majority that led to Trump’s rise, which is why I want you to know that I am with you — I wanted Trump to be real, too. He is not. He even says so himself. His misogyny? That’s the character. His presidential candidacy? That’s a character, too.The problem with characters is they are the stuff of soap operas and sitcoms and reality competitions — not political legacies."
• Reliability: 1. "I signed on as the Communications Director of the Make America Great Again Super PAC." 2. "It wasn’t long before every day I awoke to a buzzing phone and a shaking head because Trump had said something politically incorrect the night before. I have been around politics long enough to know that the other side will pounce on any and every opportunity to smear a candidate."

Make Donald Drumpf Again

• Formal Title: Last Week Tonight With John Oliver: Donald Trump
• Author: John Oliver
• Host: Youtube (originally aired on HBO)
• Fact One: "He began to receive jobs with BBC, and by 2005, had become a regular guest on the network's comedic television program Mock the Week."
• Fact Two: "Oliver had never even been to the United States when he received a call to audition for The Daily Show. He was selected to be the show's "senior British correspondent."
• You can find those both (and more!) here
• The source is directed at Trump voters, and I know that because he shows clips of Trump supporters making claims in the beginning of the shows which he proceeds to debunk. 
• It's also probably directed at democrats who regularly watch his show, because it's pretty liberally skewed and democrats love that stuff. 
• Contextual Details: John Oliver (and his team of course) do all their own investigative journalism, which is how he found out that 1. Trump's real name used to be Drumpf (lol) and that 2. He's being sued over several things (there are lots more details but I'll leave it at those for now). 

Donald Trump is a Narcissistic Psychopath

• Formal Title: Harvard Psychologist Explains Trump Is ‘Dangerous’ Because He’s Literally a Narcissistic Psychopath"
• Author: Marshall David
• Host: Counter Current News
• So here it's not as important that the author is any more credible than your average writer, but the people he interviews who are actually making the claim need to be credible. So: 
• "Donald Trump is “remarkably narcissistic,” according developmental psychologist Howard Gardner, a professor at Harvard Graduate School of Education". Confirmed here.
• "'Textbook narcissistic personality disorder,' clinical psychologist Ben Michaelis explained." Confirmed here.
• This article doesn't really have an intended audience. Maybe the scientific community. But it's not biased in any way, it just lays out all the characteristics that are part of being a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath, or just a liar in general, (sounds like an ex boyfriend of mine. I wish I were kidding) and shows exactly how (with evidence!) specific actions that Donald Trump has executed that line him up perfectly with all of the trademark characteristics of those things. 
• The main purpose is listed above: To prove that Trump has some serious chemical imbalances in his brain that gave him these textbook disorders. Citations: 
• "The Mayo Clinic explains “Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.'" Doesn't this just scream Trump? If you need a reference to the fragile self esteem part, just think of the "Tiny Fingers" debacle that John Oliver (second source) explained.
• Trump’s shortage of empathy can be seen clearly by his stances on topics like immigration. Instead of recognizing that the data shows that most Mexican immigrants are not violent, but instead people simply looking for a place where actual opportunity exists, with a broad brush he claims that they are “criminals, drug dealers, rapists, etc.'" There are about a million other instances I could cite that show his lack of empathy, I really wouldn't even know where to start. Gotta save something for the paper I guess. 
• Contextual details: 
• Everyone interviewed is a real (and highly qualified I might add) doctor, professor, or in some other way very qualified to talk about mental illness (specifically narcissism) 
• It's a well known fact that narcissists end up in positions of power (CEO's, Wall Street, presidential candidates)

Wow this is really turning into a novel. Again, there was a lot to cover... again, sorry bout it. 

These Are Not Age-Appropriate Responses, Donald (especially bc ur old af) 

I may have interpreted this title a little

• Formal Title: The 199 most Donald Trump things Donald Trump Has Ever Said: Would You Vote For This Man?
• Author: Michael Kruse
• Host: Politico 
• The author is reliable because (and since this is literally just a list of Trump quotes, I think this is the only reason I need) Every single quote is cited with the date and where you can find (if it hasn't been deleted because Trump likes to subtweet, get called out, and pretend it didn't happen). 
• Author: 
• Cites every quote
• Is a senior staff writer so like everything he says here is true, hence 199 citations
• Target audience: Probably people who don't like Trump. I say that only because those who do like Trump will dismiss this article because "anything looks stupid out of context" while failing to account for the fact that all of these things were stupid in-context as well. 
• The source's main purpose here is to make Donald Trump look stupid, self-centered, and racist
• Citations: All of these quote are stupid, self-centered, and/or racist
• The thing is, the author here isn't the true author. He just found all these Trump quote and put them in one place. The real author here is Trump- and who better to talk about Trump than Trump, seeing as he does it constantly? (Spoiler alert- due to his inflated ego, LITERALLY ANYONE would be better to talk about Trump. But since the purpose of this paper is to prove that, this is fine for now.)

Donald Trump is A 5-Year Old

• Formal Title: Donald Trump on Heidi Cruz
• Author: CNN/Anderson Cooper/Donald Trump
• Host: CNN/Youtube
• There isn't really an author here. And it's reliable because it's video footage, no one can argue that this didn't happen because it's on tape.
• Target audience: Anyone. This happened at a Trump town hall on CNN, which tends to stay in the middle. People could have been watching in support or, if you're like me, despondence. 
• Source's main purpose: Depends on who you mean here. CNN's purpose was to host a Trump town hall with Anderson Cooper and truly let the cards fall where they may. Trump's purpose was to lie his way out of something AGAIN and pretend he's just a nice guy. 
• The source is reliable again, because it's video footage and because it's CNN, a well known world news source. 

Campaign Ad

• Formal Title: Donald Trump AD First Commercial TV AD Campaign 
• Author: Trump and I would imagine his team]
• Host: Youtube/ Aired on TV
• See my goal is to debunk this source in particular and use it to build my authority of knowledge over Trump's so I want to prove that this source is NOT reliable. And here's how:
• Usually when you do a campaign ad, the things you say in it are a general summation of your plans, ideas and philosophies. That's not at all the case with Trump. When the narrator says things like "Mexico WILL pay" and that Trump will "Cut the head off ISIS", those aren't summaries of his plans. Those ARE is plans. That is all he has. Those are direct quotes from debates, interviews, what have you. I'll go more in depth here in my actual essay. 
• Target audience: Definitely Trump supporters, or undecided republicans. It touches on the issues that they care about and build up Trump as a person. 
• Main message: Donald Trump is *becomes physically ill while typing this* the best person to be president of the United States.
• The source isn't necessarily reliable but it's a good fit for the project because it came directly from Trump and his team and is ready for me to crap all over it. 

Megyn Kelly was only being a bitch because she's on her period

• Formal title: Donald Trump's 'blood' comment about Megyn Kelly draws outrage
• Author: Trump I suppose
• Host: CNN 
• I would also like to debunk this source and the denial that ensued shortly after people began accusing him of making reference to her menstruation. I'm using this source only as proof that once you insult, or wrong even in the slightest matter the Great and Almighty Trump, you become scum of the earth in his eyes. I guarantee before this debate, Trump had little to no opinion of Kelly, if he even knew who she was. But after, just count the insults. Not only the period comment. I'm using this source to show that Trump is so thin-skinned that this is what happens the second he thinks one person may not be 100% Team Trump- another symptom of a textbook narcissist.
• Target audience: based on the host, I would say really anyone with interest in politics or the race. Like I've said before,  CNN tends to stay in the middle. 
• Main purpose: To objectively show Trump and what he said, while simultaneously reporting on the fact that he's just pissed off a lot of people
• Again, it's audio evidence. You really can't argue about whether or not it happened. Also again, CNN is a well known and reliable world news source.

Donald Trump has a Chemical Imbalance that will Demolish This Country: A title improved upon

• Formal Title: Less Than Artful Choices: Narcissistic Personality Disorder According to Donald Trump (misleading, Trump doesn't actually get an opinion here. It just lines him up with the characteristics)
• Author: Maria Konnikova
• Host: Bigthink
• I think it's reliable because big think is totally middle and the author may be a doctor as she is well-read in the DMS5
• Target Audience: Those who already think Trump is a narcissist. It is chillingly difficult to find anything on his personality disorder without really trying. 
• Main purpose: To prove that Trump has some serious disorders, as backed by the DSM5.
• It's reliable because it takes definitions verbatim from the DSM5 and applies them to specific actions Trump has taken.

Rhetorical Analysis of Project 3

I know you said you didn't want a novel, but there was a lot to cover so I did my best here. In this post I'll be letting you know everything that I understand about project three.

Author

1.     Drawing on some of these things

·      General research interests: Law, I really hate Donald Trump

·      Majors: Law major means taking politics classes so I’m into politics

·      Other interests: basic fundamental human rights

·      Current issues: I have been super into this election because it’s do or die for me, plus it’s happening right now so it doesn’t get more present day.

2.     Preconceptions and biases

·     1.  I’m so liberal and both my parents are liberal and we all have pretty liberal values.

·      2. I’m tired of getting screwed as part of the middle class so like obviously I like Bernie but my love for Bernie and burning hellfire-fueled hate for Donald Trump are independent I promise.

·     3.  I was raised in Arizona which I basically hate all of the surrounding area because they’re mostly old white racists with skin cancer but the cool thing about Arizona is it has this little liberal pocket that I grew up in called Tucson. If Phoenix is your conservative dad, Tucson is your hippy uncle. It just so happens that both my dad and uncle are hippies, but it’s whatever.

·  4.     I am as agnostic as someone can get. I think religion drives people to do a lot of stupid things (@the catholic church LITERALLY EVERYWHERE okay maybe religion didn’t drive you to molest children but you still did) my parents took me to church a little when I was a kid but they soon realized it was kinda pointless and I was bound to grow up into a demon anyway so they let me do my thing. They’re the real MVP.

·      5. I feel like I have a lot of cultural power as a young white person in college, the only problem with that is I’m a woman. However, this means I have a little credibility as a demographic that gets screwed sometimes and we are damn tired of it. Who run the world? Girls.

Audience

1.     I know I want my audience to be Trump supporters, but I don’t know how specific I want to get. Stand by.

2.     They want Donald Trump for president which as far as I’m concerned means they’re mostly bigots and racists but I don’t know if they can see reason or not. I’ll try and reason with them but so far that hasn’t gone well for people who’ve tried (@Samantha Bee)

3.     They will probably be pissed because I’m making coherent points and won’t want to listen but this is the truth people

4.     I don’t think I really can relate to Trump supporters just because I’m so incredibly different from them in literally every way. I’ll just try to establish myself through sources and personal testaments to authority and maybe they’ll believe me then.

5.     I don’t know a lot of Trump supporters because to be honest I really don’t want to be friends with anyone who supports Trump…but I know a couple people that my mom begrudgingly lets stay a small part of her life. They cling to their views so desperately that I don’t know that anything I could say would change their mind. So, my goal will just to have them think a little about who Trump really is and maybe reevaluate their reasons for supporting him.

Purpose

1.     As I said before, I don’t think my audience will change their stance. I want them to think about why they like Trump, especially after I do my best to debunk everything that people seem to think makes him great. I want people who support him to wake up a little. Maybe they’ll see that behind all the smoke and mirrors, he’s nothing but a sociopath with a chemical imbalance who will take care of himself before anyone else.

2.     I’d like to address the second bullet point mostly here, I want my audience to become aware of who trump is as a person. They think he’s… well I actually have no idea what they think. I couldn’t possibly bring myself to see what anyone sees in trump. But I’m hoping (probably a false hope) that they aren’t as stubborn as I am and can see the truth. Also, when I gather my sources, I’m going to do my best to gather as much information from as many people as I can so that no perspective is left untouched. Maybe I’ll even include a letter from a supporter so that I can debunk it… because honestly I absolutely can.

Context

            It’s pretty straightforward. Trump and his sociopathy are part of the election going on right now. Like literally as we speak. Not only that, but the country is SO divided over it. Not only into democrats and republicans, but republicans themselves are divided over the awfulness that just is Trump. This country is pretty much a mess… so there’s your context.

Genre

1.     Standard college essay

2.     Audience expectations are probably long, introduction and conclusion plus supporting paragraphs.

3.     My history of working in this genre is my high school was super hard because I did the IB program which is really hard so I’ve been writing standard college essays since junior year. So I’ve kinda got this.

4.     I’m super comfortable writing not only about the topic but writing in the genre. I feel like I know the best way to go around it (don’t write the introduction first, duh) and generally that I know what I’m doing.

5.     Effective conventions: CITATIONS. It lets your reader know that you’re not just making junk up and someone agrees with you. Also, thesis. Your paper would be literally nowhere without a thesis. And I know you want specificity but that’s seriously it- papers get nowhere without a thesis.

When?

1.     Yeah! The historical events are RIGHT NOW. This election is the historical event! People look back on this years from now and be like “What the hell was this”. Seriously. I also should include a little history on Trump, because he’s had way more failures than anyone would like to admit.

2.     LITERALLY EVERYONE is talking about this. Here’s four, but I could literally give you four hundred. Side note, I will probably end up using some if not all of these as some of my sources.  

John Oliver's Last Week Tonight
CNN
Rachel Maddow
President Obama

3.     My counter arguments are going to be taken from John Oliver’s source (above) and I will debunk them using him and other sources

·      Trump is a tough guy

·      He’s a great business man

·      He tells it like it is

·      He’s funding his own campaign

You can find people saying all of these things in the first source, but I’ll like it again here.

So there you go! That's everything I've got thus far, and it's about to get bigger.