Peer Review of Shauna Bratton (my section)

In this post I'll be peer reviewing a student in my section, Shaunna Bratton. So this is 9a. Here we go.

The activity- a recommendation about form 

I know I did this twice but I think I'm kinda good at it. The project is here. 

The content part of your QRG is awesome! The only thing I would suggest is that only the first page of it looks like it could be a QRG. Try to use white space a little more- I think the length of your paragraphs is good but spacing them out more would make it easier to read. Additionally more images, columns, basic genre conventions of a QRG would make this spot on. Also, I think you have really good natural transitions between paragraphs due to your different genres. Making it more obvious that this is a new topic would make the article go even more smoothly, I would suggest big headings over as many paragraphs as is reasonable. That way it will be easier to skim. Great start!!

How I helped: I did form twice because now I know how the form of a QRG should really look, so again I wanted to help others in this genre. I think I was able to offer both general and specific suggestions so that she can pick what works best with her subject area. 

From Student's Guide: Again I think I considered mostly the organization factor but also the transitions, because in a QRG I think it's really important to make those super visible so that it can be skimmed. 

What I admired: The content and sources cited! Physiology can't be an easy major and I liked how she went about explaining the different genres and things of that major. I also thought the conclusion left me with a great sense of what I had just read. 

Peer Review for David Klebosky

In this post I'll be peer reviewing someone not in my section. So I guess I did 9b first, oops. Here goes.

The Activity- A suggestion about Form (specifically genre conventions- copy pasted onto David's blog)

By the way, you can find this project here.

I think the content for your draft is spot on! It's witty and detailed, and I like how you made use of short paragraphs and white space. I also liked how you used a local project as an example, because I know that I (along with many other Tucson natives I'm sure) was extremely irritated with how long the La Cholla project took. 

I know you said in your open note to peer reviewers that you know you still need to "make it pretty". May I suggest adding reaction gifs (maybe after you mention dysentery because I thought that was pretty funny and a gif would drive it home) or pictures of the La Cholla project (maybe a before/after)? This would make your project more skimmable so to speak and help it to better fit the genre conventions. Maybe you could even use columns so that your readers could literally see all three genres.

How I helped: I think I learned a lot from not really nailing the conventions of my QRG so I wanted to impart some wisdom onto others in this genre, and I think I was much more specific than "make it pretty" which was probably more helpful.

From Student's Guide: I considered the organization part of the questions. I read the paragraph and then considered how a QRG should look, which is why I complemented him on the use of short paragraphs and white space but suggested more images or gifs. 

What I admired: The detail! He obviously put a lot of research into this, and he also somehow made it entertaining and funny to read something about infrastructure which in my experience has only been previously done by John Oliver. Which you can watch if you're so inclined. The best part happens around 5:10, in my opinion.

Reflection on Post-Production

Here I'll be talking about myself and how I did with this week's editing and such.


1. Some of the things that went right are that I had a pretty good base to begin with, about 4.5 minutes, and then after seeing that genre examples were about 8-10 minutes all I had to do was add a little more detail and content, but it wasn't too much of a task because I didn't have any introduction, music, or sign-off. After doing that I only needed to add about a minute of extra content, which was easy because I elaborated on most of my points as specificity is key here.


2. What didn't go well is I procrastinated, as usual. But here's the thing when something is due Sunday- this Sunday is easter and I'll be home so I won't want to do it then. Tuesday through Thursday I have class from 10am to 4pm so those afternoons I'm trying to focus on stuff that's due the next day (and eat lunch at 4 o clock). I never start before Tuesday because I find that it helps to get some details in class on how I should be going about things. So I have Friday and Saturday to get these done. But factor in all my other classes plus greek life obligations plus I like to go to the gym if I'm able, so I really don't have that much time.

And I'm not complaining, it's definitely not anyone else's fault, this is just my defense for continually procrastinating... cue crying laughing emoji because I don't want to sound hostile.


3. The good news though is because I've been pretty much made to procrastinate since the beginning of the semester just due to the nature of my life, I've started to fall into a rhythm and now I kind of know what I'm doing so that I can sort of plan for the procrastination. I usually at least figure out what I need to do beforehand, then do half the work on Friday and half on Saturday because let's be honest, doing homework on Sunday sucks.

So I think since I've had a few weeks practice at this, next week should go just fine. Shoutout to Bottai for revamping the schedule to contain less blog posts, this has made my forced procrastinating a lot easier.


4. I'm feeling pretty good about the project and I'll tell you why. I had pretty solid scores on my last project for content, the only thing that I really got docked on was the format. So I feel confident in my ability to produce quality content, and this time around I'm doing a podcast. The conventions of a podcast are, I feel, way easier to get exactly right because it's all audio. The only other things are intros, out-tros (is that a word? It is now) and music. Talk for 8 minutes with an NPR kind of vibe and you're good to go as long as your content is golden, and I feel like mine is. So I'm pretty confident overall.

Editorial Report (second one)

In this post I'm going to show the changes I made to another section of the podcast.


Okay so the problem here is that the only other section that I have a rough cut of, I didn't make any changes to because it's just me introducing my interviewees. So what I'm going to do here is tell you what I changed, post the edited section, and then give a general description of what the section was like before so that you can get a better sense of the changes.


1. I added a LOT more detail. And most of this detail was reasons why what I was talking about matters. I think it's more effective than it was before because I remember in class talking about that it's important to say why the listener should care, and they definitely should because what I'm talking about relates directly to their demographic. I also referenced a recent event, the Flint water crisis, which shows that 1. I'm up on current events and 2. I can effectively compare (or really contrast rather) the two issues.


2. The form didn't really change other than it became longer and more persuasive if you will, which I think is totally important and makes the reader care.

Edited Section 

Here's what the rough cut didn't have:

• Reference to Flint water crisis
• Emphasis that college prices are an ongoing issue
• Reference to middle and lower class family struggles
• Summary of emotional plus logical appeals
• Emphasis that most people don't have college fully paid for in some way or another
• Reference to economy and how it's hurting the families that have to pay

Editorial Report (first one)

In this post I'm going to discuss and show changes made to my podcast.


1. I gave my podcast an introduction so that the listener knows up front what I'll be talking about and that it really matters. It's obviously important so my listener isn't confused right off the bat.


2. The form changed because I added music. I know it sounds like a long music segment for the amount of content in the clip, but it's a totally reasonable amount I think compared with the rest of the podcast. It's some cool EDM so I think the listener will get hype to listen to my podcast, by using music like this my listeners will know I am a fellow cool kid.

First Version (selection from rough cut)

Second Version (re-edited selection)

Reflection on Production

That really wasn't that hard. Maybe I'm thinking that because I missed some vital part of what I was supposed to be doing, but that's what rough drafts are for.
My production schedule was way off. I should have taken into account that this week was crazy busy and I had a hundred friends wanting to see me because they're on spring break but I'm not yet. Although, I would like to say, I didn't procrastinate nearly as much as I did last time. I did all the recordings in one sitting, but once I figured out how to share links to those it went really quickly.
I'm really pleased with the state of my rough cut because I think I'm in a good place, I might need a ton of revision or I might need just a little bit, but I really think I'm on track and no matter how much revision I have to do at least I have plenty of time to do it.

Those are all of my thoughts. You're welcome everyone.

Link to Rough Cut

Okay so I did this out of order but that's okay. Here is the link to the rough cut of my project. It's just a first draft so keep that in mind if it's short or missing pieces. Good luck Sarah. Thanks, Sarah.

Production Report 2

In the first part of my outline, I said I would introduce my interviewees and their credentials. It's not the focus of the discussion, but it's an important segue. You can find my audio here.

Production Report 1

I've since expanded my outline to include a hook, like an interesting introduction into my story. I recorded that, and here it is. This link better work. Check it out here.

Reflection on Pre Production

I'm going to think about those last two posts now. Yay.

So I'm actually really glad I did that. It was super easy, both the outline and schedule took me about 20 minutes combined and my week probably would have been a mess if I hadn't made them. I should do that more often and with more things, it would be super helpful I think.
Reading the schedule for deadline 7 I didn't think the blog posts would serve too much of a purpose but it took me two seconds to do and now I'm wondering if I would have produced anything worth showing people if I hadn't written them. I should do that for every class. Go me.

Production Schedule

Okay I'm going to try and lay out the week so here goes.

Monday

Draft script of introduction

Tuesday

Record introduction

Wednesday

Draft script of middle part area

Thursday 

Record middle part area

Friday

Draft script of conclusion

Saturday

Record conclusion

Sunday

I will probably have procrastinated somewhere along the way here. So I'll use Sunday to catch up on that.

That was easier than I thought it would be. I should plan my weeks more often.

My Project Outline

Here's where I'll put the general outline of discussion that my podcast will follow.

Introduction

• Katherine Barnes and credentials
• Jane Bambauer and credentials 
• Compare/contrast their research
• Introduce types

Middle sort of part area

• Describe data driven research
• Describe education-career relation research
• Describe writing on criminal justice system
• How they come about
• How collaborations come about 
• How data is used to create/back up arguments

Conclusion

• Different styles/different people
• Lots of different kinds of writing in law
• Depends on person and available data

Tada.